The best part of teaching (and probably lots of jobs) is that moment when you’ve got nothing to do.*
*Except, you think you think there must be a hundred things you should do and you then get stressed as a result.
Did I say best?
So is praising.
Let’s do more of the latter this week.
I’ve not written lately because I’ve been busy and stressed but also because time is flying and getting 8 hours sleeps means going to be at 9:30 (I feel so much better for it).
Flights have been booked to Mauritius in October and am considering whether to go again in the summer for as long as I can fit in – to visit my parents, of course. Not because it’s Mauritius and it’s beautiful and because of the beach and because of the pool and the sun and going to Pereybere. Nope. It’s that, that now that Mauritius and Beijing are as close to home as I can get. Yes Beijing is, of course but it’s not that complete feeling of being ‘home’. Rented flat, not my furniture but also because it’s China. Though my Chinese has crept up a little. I have a language partner now who I meet once a week and I help her with her English and she tries to help me with my tones which are still a completely alien concept to me. So yes Beijing is but also Mauritius too because home is somewhere where you don’t worry about things because it’s your space and your parent’s homes are always that. It’s partly why I just can’t see myself going back to the UK anytime soon, certainly not this year and if I look ahead probably not next year. That is unless I go back with Lyra, though then it would be to show her how things are different. This is what real milk tastes like, this whole aisle is for cheese, these aisles full of processed food are why Westerners have such obesity problems and why you rarely see a fat person in China.
Things keep ticking over. I’ve been here 9 months now. Which has flown and is still crazy in my own head.
Some days everything feels right.
The weather, the music, the exercise, the people, your mind.
There’s a bounce in your step.
And you feel fucking bulletproof.
The point isn’t to grab them and try to not let them go, but to just let them be.
Relish the good times.
*sunny, Camo and Krooked – Watch it burn, deadlifts, shounder presses, dumbbell carries, L and K and B and M, me.
I felt it getting the subway one stop last night.
I felt my old rhythm again.
I turned a corner. The corner where I felt like habit was forming. Like I’m glad I am making these decisions. That this is MY rhythm. The one that is right for me. Not drinking a lot. Sleeping lots. Exercising a lot. Eating right. That I was managing to make it fit here.
As A says… ‘and exercise and healthy eating are big parts of that for you and directly impact on you – especially with links to mental health’
I was going to write every day this week. Because.
Then I came across this photo, of the many that Hannah has put online. It makes me feel strange. To be an uncle, for Han to be a mum, for mum and dad to be grandparents. It’s a little bit sad that they are so far away. That Hannah is in Southern California, Mum and Dad are in Mauritius, Joey is in the UK and I’m, currently, in China. We are all out and about. Not down the road, not by a few minutes, or just an hour but miles and miles. Planes and borders. It’s a little bittersweet, of course. Not better or worse just a different path.
Starting is easy isn’t it?
You just head in the general direction of your goal. Less of this. More of that. Phones and sugar and processed food and going to the gym or walking or simply to just ignore your inner monologue and start on with your to do list. For a while that’s all there is to it.
I started again today. It was easy. I’m going to start again tomorrow too…