Revelation.
Tonight feels like a bit of a revelation.
[By my own admission I can't not check the internet constantly, if it's there. That's why I like my job, I'm constantly busy/active/in demand and so I can't check it, I mean aside from the fact that it's highly unprofessional. But when it's there, I'm checking. One more look, a refresh, open the site I closed 5 minutes ago. It's why I've downgraded my phone, it's why I'm limiting myself to 15minutes of Facebook a day (enforced by stopwatch - with the added incentive that the stop watch is now two flights of stairs up, so no Facebook yet). Strict, but it works for me.]
Currently, the school filter successfully blocks me from all social networking, which is just fine by me and my phone isn’t capable of connecting. So Facebook and Twitter are limited to before school and after school. In any case, when I get home I just have to scratch that itch… Sometimes I make it to the kitchen before opening my laptop, sometimes I make it my bedroom and sometimes I manage to get changed and hang my clothes up before I’m checking.
Open Chome, click Tweetdeck icon, cmd + t, m (Mail), enter, cmd + t, g (Google Reader), enter, cmd + t, r (Reddit).
But tonight, tonight I have managed to get changed, put away the shopping (I spent more then I would have previously like but damnit I’d much rather spend on things that good for me), did the washing up, put chicken in the oven, chopped up veg and fed the cat before I even thought about opening my laptop.
It feels like standing/sitting up straight. You can do it but it’s an effort to and your shoulders inevitably slump again and you give in. Then you do more exercise/pilates/yoga/practice and then suddenly… You’re doing it, BUT it’s not an effort. Standing up straight is now as easy as slumping was before and you can’t imagine not doing it this way round.
It feels like that. And it feels good.
(Again, I don’t really want to put it down to meditating but I really feel like it is. Because it feels like… you know what? Instead of achieving very little online, how about you just do the things you wish you were doing?)
May 11, 2011